This isn't one of my usual blog posts, where I teach something, but this can be a lesson if your heart sees it as such. I am writing this blog to share a testimony that has been longing for release, and i am ready to release it. I became resurrected on December 15th, 2013, and it was the best day of my entire existence. That was the day I laid my old life down and became a new life... a life where God reigns every day I rise. It's been almost 2 and a half years since I've been alive, and every day is a blessing to me because it is another day to expand on my covenant with Him. A year after I was baptized, I became a part of my church's worship team. This was when our church was about to launch, and my dad who is lead pastor wanted to create a worship team for Sunday services. On that praise team I was surrounded by Godly men and women who had a passion for God. It was such a beauty to be witness to such a loving atmosphere. At the time, I was very shy with my voice and my worship. I honestly didn't know how to worship. All my life I have been one of those "church-goers" who just sit in the congregation staring at the choir as they praise on. With my shy mindset back then, I became feeling like my voice wasn't needed because I was surrounded by such beautiful, strong, and empowering voices. Some of them had been in music for years, and here was me... a beginner. I began singing softer and I almost started becoming uncomfortable because I felt like they were all better than me. "Why am I here?" I would ask. Around that time I was unknowingly being attacked by Satan because of what was in store for me later. Some of the praise members left after a while for their own personal reasons, and it came a time where my worship leader wanted more from me. I was like, "Ha, no way! Solos? Leading songs? You must be out of your mind!" Well, he did get more from me. He was determined to. My worship leader put me on the spot (in a good way) to encourage me to lead songs. We'd be at praise rehearsal and he'd say, "Sing this, Jas". I lead my first song on Sunday, January 3rd 2015. The song was "Everything" by Tye Tribbet and nervous was an understatement. I was shaking and my heart beat was going wild. The song was right after altar call, so you know I wasn't listening to that prayer because I was too nervous to hear anything but my doubts. "You're gonna mess up" my doubts said. "You're gonna forget to come in" they also said. I finally prayed, and after altar call, my worship leader began playing the intro, and I DID come in on time, and I had most of the audience on their feet worshipping and praising. What a sight to see! I stood amazed. I began taking on more songs and worshipping along with my worship leader. One Sunday last year the Spirit moved so heavily in the room that people were laying prostrate, screaming, speaking in tongues, and so much more! Before that, I was singing "Fill Me Up" by Casey J, and after I finished that song the Spirit came in like a flood. I began to take over worship, ministering and praying over the congregation with the help of my worship leader. That was the day that I knew I was purposed in worship. I began going deep into prayer about my purpose, and began to study on worship. An Apostle who is a very close family friend of mine told me, "Even the floods clap their hands but we were only made to worship,". I honestly almost fell out when he said that. And that was my answer. I am purposed to worship. Around Christmas last year, God kept waking me up out of the night with lyrics. Lyrics, you say? Yes, real deal lyrics. He would wake me out of my sleep or even keep me up past 12 AM with these lyrics, some going like: "I desire you, my soul cries out for you, I desire you", and "The light of your love creates a love in me, I give my heart to you, expand the depths of my soul to meet you in your holy presence". I began asking God, "Is this what you really want me to do?" I even asked, "How can I make songs when I don't even have the sources to do so? What am I supposed to do with these lyrics?" I was trying to break down every little thing God did because I didn't understand, but now I do. Those lyrics were confirmation that God wants me to pursue worship more. He wanted me to break worship down just like I tried to break Him down, and I did and currently still am. Worship is a lifestyle. It isn't just a part of a Sunday service. It must be embedded in your life. The word of God says they bowed down in the presence of Christ. He is YAHWEH, and He loves the sound of our praise, whether it be singing, praise dancing, spoken word, art, or anything that gives His Father glory. With that being said, I lead my first worship service yesterday on Easter 2016, and what beauty it was to stand before God living my purpose. I am constantly growing, getting wiser and wiser in my walk. His love never fails. It never runs out on me. We serve a God who beat death, so who are we to live our lives not giving Him our all. No, you cannot sit in service with a blank face while praise and worship is going on. That is not what you were made for. God says let everything that has breath praise the LORD. (Psalm 150:6) He told me no more holding back! Worship lives with you. It is a supernatural express way to God. And I refuse to put a barrier of doubt or even a bit of pride to block that relationship any longer. God has set a fire down in my soul, and that fire will rise forever and always for the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ. "Worship is not a twenty minute period during a church service, but a lifestyle of relating to God in a particular way." -Mike Bickle
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