So you're not sure if you want to commit to a life of purity. Hey, girl. Let me talk to you. Making the decision to wait until marriage has been the best decision of my life, of course directly behind choosing Christ. Because I have chosen to wait for God to reveal the lover of my soul, I have learned so much about love. I learned what I deserve, and what I am truly worth. Let me bring you back to the very first story of the Bible, Adam and Eve. Eve was a woman whom God created out of the rib of Adam. Before this, though, God created Adam in His image. Adam was created one with God. This means that when God created animals, He immediately brought them to Adam to name the animals, and it was so. It was so and God did not question or discuss it because they shared the same mind. They were intimate. They were one. Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. Genesis 2:19 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 But when God saw that man needed a wife and created Eve, there was a difference this time. Before God brought Eve to Adam, He told Eve that she was "woman". So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g]and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Genesis 2:21-22 This is significant because He had not done this with the animals. This is so important. Before Eve was revealed to Adam, she knew who she was through God. Adam did not name her first. I highlight this story once again in my teaching of purity because it shows that we as women must find our identity in Abba and not in man. Women try to find themselves in men... sleeping with them only to be seeking the intimacy that only God can provide. Having sex outside of marriage will have you committed to someone because of the way they make you feel, and this also accounts for oral sex. Ladies and gentlemen, oral sex is sex. Oral sex can still create STDs... spiritually transmitted demons. Woman of God, your worth is not bound to a bed just the same as it is not bound to a grave. Get up. See, when I commit my life at the altar to the man God crafted for me, I will be committing to him with a clean heart that is ready to love the way God loves and intended. I will know who I am without my husband needing to confirm it because I sought the everlasting, ever-present love of God first, not a relationship. Like with Eve, the first thing she saw was God, and then she was brought to Adam. Eve was created through one man's rib, not multiple men. And some of you may be thinking, "but Jas, I'm in a relationship with one man and I just want to have sex with him. What's wrong with that?" For one, it is outside the Will of God. (you neverrrrr want to live outside of that, homegirl.) But two, when you give in to that sin, it lets God know that you are not serious about your covenant to Him. God won't bless fornication. Die to yourself and your desires. Become one with God. If it's so easy to give into sin, it lets God know that you are not ready for marriage. You are not ready to be join your life with someone and be one flesh. Where's the conviction? You are not ready to be an ordained couple because just as quickly as you fall into bed you can fall out of love. Where is the fasting and praying together? You choose to wait just as you choose to love. It's a decision, not a feeling. If you love that man through God, you will not give him your body until marriage. It will strengthen your relationship and your heart to fight temptation individually and collectively with your future husband. It's going to be hard, but the reward is grand. Because after my wedding, I will give my husband a part of me... a love that no one has ever received. It will be beautiful, and most importantly, it will be ordained by God. And it will be peaceful because he will be my husband and I am sharing myself with someone who cherishes me and will pursue my heart until his or my final breath. It's a decision of forever. That's the type of intimacy I'm waiting for. No heartbreak, just love. No "I'm feenin' for you, come over", just "hey husband, come home". Hallelujah. When you wait in your singleness, you will know how to wait for anything in your individual walk. When you wait as a couple before marriage, you will walk into your marriage knowing how to deal with "the wait" in anything. Because when I wait, Abba, You strengthen my heart. There is nothing better than waiting on God. It has been almost four years since I made that decision. No, I have never dated (anything before my resurrection does not count, for I did not know what love was). So, I understand I have never gone through the temptation of being in a relationship wanting to fulfill that desire. But, hold on. Satan tempted Jesus, remember? And what did Jesus say? Get thee behind me, Satan!!!! Every time you think about fulfilling that desire, draw closer to Abba. Pray without ceasing. Ladies, pursue God with your whole heart. Identify in Him, only. You are beautiful. You are worth the wait. You must love yourself first before God revealing the lover of your soul. If not, then your husband's love will never be enough. You will be seeking the perfect love of God through an imperfect man. Yes, if he has died to himself He will love you like Christ loved the Church, but that will never be enough to you. And you will never love your husband enough because you haven't identified self-love and intimate love in God. Seek God first, above all else. Please. And girl, don't ever let a man pressure you into intimacy. I don't care if you've been dating for a year. If he is a reflection of Christ and pursues you like Christ pursues the church, he will wait. He will wait until he hears the most intimate words created, "I do, I do vow until death do us part". And that's the same way vice versa, men. Don't ever let a woman pressure you into intimacy. If she won't wait for you, she can leave. Remember that episode of "A Different World" when Dorian told Gina that he was saving himself, and that's that? She could get with it or bounce? Watch the scene if your memory left ya: Choose love. Choose Christ. Choose the wait.
"Do I really want to commit to purity?" I hope, I really do hope that you can look at my life and see the Glory and faithfulness of God.
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Abba, I love you.
It's this love... this love that continues to pursue me is what calms every fear and declares them to flee. Over the holiday break I've been confronting fears that have tried to consume me. Towards the end of 2017, I was in a much better place than I was last year, for sure. The 2016 holidays for me were spent in isolation and depression because I had tried to force "yes" to God's purposeful "no". Therefore, I ended up heartbroken, and I went into the New Year trying to seek healing and peace from a relationship that was never meant to escalate past friendship. I opened my heart to someone who my heart was never meant to be shared with. I went into 2017 with not only a broken heart, but also a strayed heart from Abba. I have been waiting on God since 14. I chose the love of Christ above man. I chose to dwell in the covering of Abba, and I have been single, choosing purity, since I joined my life with Him. I find this waiting beautiful and intimate, but it does become difficult at times. The spirit of loneliness arises and tries to consume me. Wonder is something that always ventures to me. My experience last year left me heartbroken because I was vulnerable, and when I saw that someone was actually interested in me, I was so excited. I had been longing for a relationship since I knew truly what love is and how to love. He was the first one who had shown interest in me since I renewed my life. I was too blinded by that that I refused to see what God desired for me in His will. I tried to make it work with him. I wanted it to work. I wanted to finally have someone. But it wasn't time, and he was not the person. But before I could realize that, my heart was already open. I had already made him mine in my heart. And I put more trust on him than I did on God. (ooooo girl, why?) I wasn't in a good place after that. The beginning of 2017 was learning how to forgive myself for walking outside of Abba's Will and how to move forward in my ministry of singleness with God. Being in college now, my faith has been challenged and I have felt alone many times in my spiritual journey, especially in the wait. Relationships are everywhere, literally. I had friends dating, I had classmates dating, like, everybody was dating but me. Satan began playing with my mind. I began thinking to myself, "am I pursuable? am I worthy of being loved? am I even lovable?" But Satan, I rebuke you. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. For years, I've identified with being the friend who is always single, but gives amazing spiritual advice. I've identified with that person so much that I began to wonder if I will ever be pursued like Christ pursued the Church, or will I always be bound to receiving phone calls that begin with, "girl, I need your help". After my heartbreak in 2016, I began asking God why is everyone else dating but me. I would say "I'm living a life of purity... I'm being faithful... I know that Christ deserves to be at the center of it all, so why am I out here lonely while there are some who don't even know you or even acknowledge you are walking around in relationships?". But what I had to realize is that just because I am faithful to God does not mean He owes me anything. For being faithful to God, I receive God. I had to re-learn that He is enough and always will be enough because I deserve death for all the sins I commit daily, so let me encourage you not to be that believer who thinks that God owes them something. No, love. You receive Him. You receive the precious gift of Jesus Christ, the Messiah. GLORY TO GOD. You have to get to a place in your purity where you can acknowledge this: "God, if you call me to a life and ministry of singleness, I will be okay because I have You, and You are enough." Honestly, once I declared that a few weeks ago, I've had a sense of peace over my future. I continue to pray over my future husband (and by prayer I mean real deal, writing journals and praying over his spiritual journey).... and wait with a heart of expectancy because once I became born again I joined my heart with Abba's, so my spiritual desires are His... but instead of feeling like the future lover of my soul is so distant, I feel that he is near. Not physically (but I mean, who knows).... but I mean spiritually. I've been trying to release my doubt.... trust God more than I trust my doubts. I know that I am lovable, but it indeed has been a fear I have been dealing with, and I conquer it by remembering the love of my Lord, He whom gave His life for mine. If anything, I know that I am pursuable because Abba pursued me relentlessly. I am entering into 2018 declaring that my fears are no more. Love will find me because love found me. in the natural and the spiritual... I'm worthy of it all. Encouraging you all to wait on God is a big part of my ministry. Wait because God waited for you, and you see how glorious that was. You see the gift you received by being unfaithful, so imagine the gift for your faithfulness. Wait with expectancy, but with heart to know that no one will ever love you, pursue you, and value you like Christ. Ladies, your future husband will be a reflection of that love but will never be the love that died for you. Stop pursuing a relationship more than you pursue Christ. Because it will be the love of Christ that guides your future relationship because his love and your love will simply never be enough. Men, pursue her wholeheartedly. Be intentional about her.... never have her questioning your intentions. Abba, I love you. I know that you are not moved by time. You could care less what year it is. But you do care that I continue to die daily and walk faithfully in our covenant. And I will, forever and always. And as for my fears, I choose surrender. And I will choose surrender over and over again to receive Your love. I trust you, but I am imperfect. Strengthen me, Jesus. I know you will come like the morning's sunrise... like the sweet fragrance of a new year. Hey 2018. Scriptures to Meditate On: When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:19 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 |
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