It's been a little over two years since I gave my life to Christ. With that huge step in my faith, I finally learned what real love is. This whole walk with Christ demands patience. God shows us things in phases... like when we are truly prepared for it. He takes us through these journeys because He loves us and only want the best for us. He wants to see the greatness in us rise. Therefore, all things beautiful must have their time to grow. I've been praying on my purpose for some time now, and I know for a fact that like every believer, my purpose is to spread the gospel, but I would wonder... how am I supposed to do it? What path do I take to reach the broken hearted and the people who seek? God was silent... or seemed to be... and through His silence my worship became stronger. I prayed to Him like I've never prayed before. I spoke life. I became bold... something that no one will ever be able to take away from me. And what I didn't realize was that His silence was a demonstration of His love to me. It made my faith stronger. It made my heart breathe. He spoke to me through my worship and revealed His plans to me.... that I am a worshipper. And through my worship, I will reach souls and truly fulfill the charge in Matthew 28. He was silent so I could discover myself and fully trust in Him. If I wasn't patient, then I would've stepped out on flesh and everything would fail. I've been worshipping at my church for almost two years, but it isn't until now that God revealed that worshipping was my true purpose. During those two years, he was equipping and preparing me for this very moment... to speak over a crowd of believers, unrestrained and unashamed. He couldn't rush beauty. He couldn't rush something so precious as this. Love is patient....
"He couldn't rush something so precious as this"... this is the way I feel about relationships. I haven't been in a relationship in over two years, but that was during my freshman year of high school so it really doesn't count (we didn't know what we were doing and I was only a babe in my faith). I've not only been in deep prayer about my purpose, but I've also been in deep prayer with my heart. I struggled with being lonely. I would see people my age around me in relationships and wonder why I wasn't good enough to be in one. But as I'm growing in my worship I realize that just like God couldn't rush unveiling my purpose, He can't rush unveiling what my future holds. Just like he equipped me for this season, He is constantly equipping me for that season. And not only is He preparing me, He is also preparing whoever he is. I want him to fall in love with my worship. I want him to not see me, but the Christ in me. Because it is not I who lives, but it is God. I don't want a perfect love story, because no love is perfect like our Father's. I just want us both to submit to God, keeping Him first. I want him to be a reflection of God's love for me, and I know he will be because what God ordains will never fail. See, what keeps me sane in waiting for him to come is my worship. Through my worship, I trust the Lord with my life. I know that "He got me", so I can't allow myself to become anxious of the future. Maybe one day whoever he is will read this. But I pray for him every night... that he trusts in God and will wait for me like I am waiting for Him. Good things come to those who wait for the Lord. Patience is key in this walk with our Lord. You can't rush beauty... I mean, God took seven days to create the earth. And seven days in Heaven could be seven thousand years on earth. God doesn't work around time. He works around love. And just like we value His love, He values ours. His love is an unending stream running wild for us. It can't be restricted. It can't be restrained. It has no boundaries. It has no limits. Because love is patient, love is kind..(1 Corinthians). Love never fails. He will never fail. His pursuit will never fail. His promises will never fail. He is God and God alone, and everything He ordains will never fail. Wait on the Lord... take your daily bread and never rush it. Trust in the Lord with all your heart(Proverbs 3) and know that you are never alone. He is guiding you, building you, and expanding your empire of faith. All you have to do is praise His name during the midst of it all, for He is Elohim, the creator and judge of the universe. His name be praised forever. And even when He seems silent, I will worship.
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June 2022
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